


No Way Home

by texanfan



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-18
Updated: 2011-03-18
Packaged: 2017-10-17 02:42:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/172057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/texanfan/pseuds/texanfan





	No Way Home

Willow looked over her assembled spell components critically. Ever since she brought Buffy back from the land of the shadow men, she’d been trying to come up with more combat-ready spells. She hadn’t really meant to draw power from Kennedy and Dawn, but it was that or lose the portal, lose Buffy. Dawn had understood that. Kennedy hadn’t. It looked like it was going to cost her the budding relationship she had with Kennedy, so she was determined to maximize her contribution, since it came at so high a cost.

Buffy was right. It was going to take everything they had to defeat the First, and she couldn’t afford to hold back, no matter how scared she was of losing herself to the magics.

“Hey there, witchy woman.”

Willow jerked around. She felt stupid for leaving her back to the door. She hadn’t heard Xander come in. He slouched in the doorway perusing her inventory.

“Sorry, Wills. Didn’t mean to startle you.” He gave her a broad grin which she tried to return.

“It’s okay. I’m a little extra jumpy, you know, getting back onto the magic horse. How did the shopping expedition go?”

Xander shrugged. “More like a looting expedition. No one around, no real need to pay. Kind of convenient. What are you working on?”

“Just trying to beef up the old magic arsenal,” she joked, trying to convince herself it was no big deal even more than she was trying to convince him. “The more firepower the better, don’t ya think?”

“Depends on who it’s aimed at.” Xander bit his lip as if he was debating saying something. Willow made a little “go on” gesture. “It’s just, you sucked life force off Kennedy and Dawnie opening that portal. What happens if you do something bigger, more dangerous? Just how many of us are you going to incapacitate, or kill, to make your mojo work?”

Willow’s jaw dropped. Xander knew how much hurting them all last year had ripped her apart, she was stunned he believed she was capable of doing it again. “I have it under control,” she said as calmly as she could manage.

“Do you? Cause from where I’m standing, not so much.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation. “I can’t help but feel we’re all kind of disposable batteries to you.”

Willow stumbled to her feet, appalled at Xander’s words. He knew her better that. “How can you say that? I would never …”

“Draw power from someone without asking permission?” He quirked an eyebrow at her, daring her to disagree. “C’mon, Wills. We both know you’ll flatten anyone who stands between you and what you want.”

“What happened with the portal, I won’t do it again.” She stared at her feet. The power was seductive, she wanted to believe she wouldn’t be drawn to it again, but the draw of it was almost irresistible. Buffy didn’t realize what she was asking, how tempting it was to just give in to the darkness inside. Dawn accepted the necessity. She’d do anything to get her sister back, but there was a wariness about her afterwards that spoke of distrust.

“Of course you will.” Xander shrugged, as if it wasn’t even a question. “You do what you have to do to get the job done. Even if it means destroying the world. I was there, remember.”

Willow’s eyes narrowed as she studied Xander’s nonchalance as he talked about that awful day. “I was insane.”

“You were homicidal. Way I remember it, you were perfectly rational.” He leaned in toward her, his voice dropping to a whisper. “You just didn’t care who got hurt.”

“You pulled me back. You told me you loved me,” she said, unsure of Xander’s devotion for the first time in her life. Something was horribly wrong with this conversation.

Xander stared up at the ceiling. “The yellow crayon speech. One of my finer moments. Doubt that’d work again. The power of love can only do so much, and you still cared some back then. It’s not like you even like me now.”

“What are you talking about?” This discussion had officially entered twilight zone land. She loved Xander. They hadn’t spent a lot of quality time together the past few years, but they were best friends, had always been best friends. Nothing could change that.

“Oh please.” He frowned at her, irritated at her lack of comprehension. “You’ve avoided me ever since you got back. I bore you. I’m supposed to be riveted by hours of mystical explanations, but five minutes of talking about my work has you yawning. Really, Wills. I was willing to die for you. When was the last time you were willing to be inconvenienced for me?”

Tears slipped down Willow’s cheeks. Xander would never talk to her this way. Which left one other sickening possibility.

Annoyed by her tears, he smirked at her. “Here come the waterworks. Ask a simple question and the crying starts up. Answer the question, Willow.”

“How about I ask you one instead,” she said, sniffing to stop her tears. She pressed forward, getting up in his face. He stumbled backwards, trying to clear the doorway, but she sped up, dashing forward until she walked right through him. She drew in a breath, determined the thing that wore Xander’s face would not be allowed to revel in her misery. She spun around to face it. “Where is he?”

“Aw.” That generous mouth quirked in mock sympathy. “Those tears for me? I’m touched. You can tell Buffy I died proving my worth, making sure she was supplied with Tab.”

“Where is he?” She channeled her pain into anger, an easy transition. She could feel the mystical power burning within her. If the First were corporeal she’d blast it into atoms.

The First seemed to grow bored of the game. “The grocery store over on Falcon. The one two streets over didn’t have everything on Buffy’s list.” He leaned forward, as if sharing a confidence. “He wanted to impress her so badly. Tootles.”

Just like Cassie, the figure became all mouth before popping out of existence. Willow headed for the phone. She had to call Buffy. They needed to bring Xander home.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [No Way Home (The Home Is Where The Heart Is Remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/384281) by [cindergal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cindergal/pseuds/cindergal)




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